There I am in the infinite minding my own business when I discover hands, my hands wanting something to do. And what do you do with those impulses of reality arising out of whatever it is, (no names please!)? Just play, it is thinking to itself, and by the way within your/my consciousness, there are wonderful things to play with, wonderful words, stories, images, and symbols, and, oh yes, wonderful sounds by which more of whatever this is and I am begins to show up. Making it all up from scratch is what I say; but what do I know? What do you want to know? Now that you are here; sit back and enjoy what it feels like starting from the beginning.
The bad news is that stepping out of your personal existence into the unknown can be overwhelmingly daunting; the good news is that that pesky tap on the shoulder telling you to do so never goes away. It’s all there, of course, the waves of the divine rising out of the infinite, the layers of beings offering you various stories about the nature of reality; and you, of course, unwrapping the veils that cover up who you are once the truth is revealed and there is no going back. The divine self; the ultimate “I” as doorway into the infinite–realizing that taking on these creases in existence is ultimately a one way trip. With a little bit of spiritual juice, however, you can move into a personal bayou and enjoy the sights and sounds of harmony, thinking that this is it, or if it is not it, you have time, yawning at the light you have gotten used to, “like the fat weed that roots itself in ease on Lethe wharf.” Hamlet’s ghost knew a thing or two about calls to action.
How can you ever explain what this is? You wander through your personal world pointing here and there, thinking this or that, pulling in this bromide and that from the stale bookshelves of wisdom and truth that litter a useless mind; but still you can only pull back from the world you knew, the people you depended upon for support and guidance and love. You look out onto the infinite landscape; you were never told it would be like this. Yet somehow you know what it is. You have been here before; ancient memories become truth; one step innocently leads to the next.
It doesn’t really matter, does it? Whether we live after death or not. Why should it matter when the longing of the heart is here and now? When justice is always fleeting, when physical fears and longings never go away, when the reality of God is elusive in our thinking. Never mind the reality of God; God is just a thought we do battle for. The blood of the lamb and the blood of the sword taste just as sweet on the vengeful tongue. So we step outside the entire history of the world, including our individual lives, which, despite the presence of billions of such lives in the world, rarely surrender their undying self-importance. Just a simple step from under the veils of thought into the open spaces of pure existence, spirit, God, reality. Yes, you! Clutching something that will die and cease to exist no matter how grand and spiritual you think it might be, rather than stepping out and looking around and taking those first few steps into the infinite.
The happenstance of existence is only the first astonishment. You and I are two others. But deeply wrapped in the veils of thought and emotion, what can we feel of the divine spirit or the dynamic fires of creation? Very little. Without grace. We pray and we meditate, and much can be said about those two activities; nevertheless, grace transcends all efforts of the ego to carve out spiritual territory belonging to it, or to take on proud identification with forms of worship or grand personages of past and present as the openers of doors. Grace has no source other than the absolute spirit and the divine intent arising out it along with all of creation. Pray and meditate for a thousand years; tug at the veils that hide the bounty of life; cry out to the universe in hope and despair. However it goes, is however it goes.
The deeper we move into the unbounded reality of the awakening heart, something moves us to reach out into the beyond, to step gently out of the world of pain and struggle into an acceptance that the love that arises in the world and into you and me has an absolute source, and when we realize this source, we learn to bow down . . . again and again. In this episode we take that journey inward by removing the veils that darken the world we experience and the lives we live. Innocent love is real; it exists as the deepest mystery of life. We need merely look up from our stories and step out into the unknown.
Dive into this episode without trying to corral meanings into a coherent sense of what it’s all about. You will know it when you get there. Familiar words and ideas but too many dimensions floating around to name or keep track of. There is a bewildering presence here, too, not part of the words. Took me by surprise but here it is. Arrival. The formless formed. Be sure to listen to the coda, ten minutes following a few seconds of music. Krishna’s heart and human awakening. Strange.