Once you have decided, once you know this is it, what is it you expect to see when you take one last look over your shoulder? You have discovered at last that the world you have lived in is one whole thing, like a box, one total reality which you are finally ready to step out of. You are no longer embedded in its stories. You have faith that in the beyond, there will be pathways, august beings, perhaps the one grand being that lords over all. You don’t know. Transcendental realities have been your life goal, your purpose, and now there is no turning back. Decades of pretending, of waiting for the right moment, of assessing how much more you need to do, whether or not this is the direction your life has taken. Has it really come to this? And what about love? A deep diver letting go of the line and stretching out to the unmoving waters.