22 Do I Really Exist?

Vision of time

You know, sometimes you forget that you exist, when the ocean isn’t pouring over you, and all your questions about God and ecstasy and self aren’t washed away into oblivion and you are not just existing naked and fresh in your inquiry, asking questions that have a sail and rudder for navigating the infinite; sometimes you forget you exist because you have to change the oil in the car under the infinite sky before the sun goes down and all the stars pin you to the back of your mind and you shout, “God, I give up! It’s all infinite! It’s all you! Every blessed thing! You can take me now! I think I’m ready! Just let me get the car in the garage, and find my kitty, and hug my lady, and get dinner ready, and I can find a movie for the evening. Maybe then you can have those things too. Maybe when I’m lying down and not paying attention, and my kitty and lady are right there with me, and the movie’s a pretty good one. Maybe then, when I forget.

Michael Garfield’s Music

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