What a wonderful moment it is when the world stops generating noise long enough for one of those life-altering questions to arise for real in one’s consciousness. What might one of those be? Who am I? What am I doing here? Is any of this real? Does God exist? What happens when I die? And can I generate one of those moments myself without waiting for it? What about the knowing presence? What about God?
The process described here might be engaged for the purpose of opening a clean and clear space inside where some degree of awakening just might happen. No promises. Listening regularly to the podcast audios might generate some degree of awakening. No promises. This process is something I do as an extension of my daily sadhana (spiritual practice). It’s real; it’s intimate; it brings out the deepest personal part of me and more.
This process begins with an inquiry: what would happen if suddenly you felt the overwhelming presence of God? I cannot be a predictor of what might happen to any individual in such a situation, but my sense of moments like these, which I have experienced on several occasions, is that whoever you think you are, whatever you believe about life and God and the other side, your core stuff will just spill out all over your mind as when a spigot is turned wide open from your deepest personal insides, no secrets, no hidden agendas, it will all just be there; the you that you think you are at that moment will be there. You will likely get nothing but silence for the divine end of that “conversation.” No matter, no need for more. As the presence fades, you will begin your own assessment of the thing you think you are.
Without waiting for such a moment, which may never come to any given person as described above, we can instead imagine such a moment and write out what might “spill out” of our minds were we to be in the presence. In fact, what we are attempting here is to attract that presence to you. Have spirit drop the veils. See how you handle infinity. This exercise, which would be ongoing, indeed, it might be ongoing for a lifetime, and which thrives on an open and sincere heart, is designed to generate that intimacy with the divine other, God, the Absolute, Spirit, the Invisible Room, in your heart. It is my belief that this “conversation” is eternally ongoing deep within, and you are learning to make your way inward to where that “conversation” is taking place in eternity. That would be the stated goal. Again no promises. Since we are always in the presence of the divine other and considering that there is no place where it is not, by simply turning our attention to that reality we are attempting to clear a place in our psyches for that intimacy to manifest itself as real. And to grow. Or so that is the intent.
Constructing Such a Moment
- With what name would one address that presence? A designation makes it real in the terms available to you now. Write it down. Dear so and so. Friend, lover, judge, teacher, guru, sage, savior, ancestor, who does it feel like as you open this moment sitting in front of your computer writing? As you continue this exercise over time, this designation might change as you regularly edit this moment.
- What is it you want out of your life? Be honest. Material things? Job? Bed partner? Money? A spiritual practice? Answers to some of the big questions about existence? What is real to you at this moment? No one is looking over your shoulder except the presence that already knows everything about you. And I mean everything! The things you hide are the things you hide from yourself (your shadow self). The judgments you have are coming from you. Be open. Let it flow. As you continue this exercise over time, these needs and inquiries might change as you regularly edit this moment and as you are more willing to take on the more shadowy aspects of your personal existence. No predictions. Wow! The possibilities!
- How to keep this moment from becoming a list of desires? Just keep writing, let it flow out, get out of your rational mind; repetition is inevitable as the psyche moves inward, like following the inward spin of a maelstrom; you return to the same place only deeper. At some point spirit takes over. You should gain energy working this exercise; if you start losing energy, time to stop. Remember to whom you are addressing this flow in your consciousness.
- Save it to the desktop. Just a double click and there it is again. Visit often, edit, rewrite, make it real every moment you visit it. Never delete or start from scratch. Why? Because it is real at the outset. I visit mine every day. I make changes every day.
It is almost inevitable at first that you will feel self-conscious about this process. Even if it feels phony, it is still real. With regular attention to the moment, the feeling that it is not real will gradually dissipate. Think about it. This moment becomes every moment. How can it not be real?
The key to gaining value from this exercise is to visit the moment regularly. Let it come. Be an editor. Feel the waves of truth rising from the depths. Ride those waves as they arise during the day. Be true. Enjoy.
“Now it is time to sit quiet, face to face with thee, and to sing dedication of life in this silent and overflowing leisure.” –Rabindranath Tagore, Gitanjali Chapter 5
The picture above is Sri Ganapati Sachchidananda Swamiji of Mysore, India